Gnats — By Tommy Purser

I’ve often said that I consider Burke County, the place where I grew up from the age of 12 to adulthood, is the Gnat Capital of the World.
The county’s claim to fame is actually The Bird Dog Capital of the World due to the fact that, for many years, Burke County’s Berol Plantation has been home to the Georgia Field Trial Association.
While living there I learned there were two types of bird dogs — hunting dogs and show dogs. Hunting dogs can find quail but aren’t much at winning field trial trophies. Show dogs can win field trial trophies but aren’t much at finding quail. Or so the story goes.
But back to the Gnat Capital of the World title. There’s really no such thing as an official Gnat Capital of the World but since I coined the title on my own, Burke County is MY official Gnat Capital of the World.
At a young age, Burke County youth perfect the art of gnat blowing. Lots of folks try to swat gnats away but that takes too much work. The art of gnat blowing not only works to shoo away the pesky critters it also keeps your hair out off your forehead should one be long overdue for a haircut. I don’t have that problem these days but, should a gnat, mosquito, fly, roach, flea or any other such creature land on my forehead, I can blow it away with the best of them.
One of the delicacies serving as a side dish at backyard barbecues in Burke County has long been barbecue hash, a.k.a., Carolina hash or, more succinctly, just hash. Gnats are drawn to hash like bees to honey. No matter how much you blow, swat, fan, swipe or cuss, you can’t keep gnats from good Burke County hash. Best thing you can do is disguise the hash with lots of coarsely ground pepper. You won’t be able to distinguish between a gnat and a grain of coarsely ground pepper so, if you should eat a gnat along with your hash, you won’t know it. Besides, gnats don’t have a taste. And gnats are harmless if eaten. I know that for a fact because I’ve eaten lots of gnats on hash over the years and never got sick, that I know of.
What’s brought on all this talk about gnats?
In my more-than-half-a-century living in Jeff Davis County, I’ve never known the gnats to be as prolific as they have been lately. They’re unbearable. While I don’t believe they are as numerous as they are in Burke County, they appear to me to be way more aggressive than the east Georgia gnats of my youth. They’re so aggressive that my gnat-blowing expertise barely phases them. Instead of them flying away when hit by my gusts of wind, they merely back off a bit to get a better running start to dive-bomb my face in retaliation.
Thank goodness we don’t eat hash in these parts.