New Year’s Resolutions — By John Reed

New Year’s Resolutions
‘Tis the season. With the new year comes declarations that usually don’t last long. My own failures to keep such promises shouldn’t surprise those who know me. Here are some other people’s resolutions I’d love to see but don’t expect them to keep:
-Donald Trump: I resolve to say less and do more.
-Democrats everywhere: We resolve to look ahead instead of the past.
-Under 30’s: We resolve to accept minimum wage jobs were never meant to be anything more than entry into the world of work. “Living wage” work requires…work.
-School boards: We resolve to spend more on teachers and less on non-classroom personnel. While we’re at it, we’ll spend more on academics than sports.
-Colleges: We resolve to return to the task of preparing our students for relevant, socially useful careers.
-Tech schools: We resolve to continue to expand opportunities for the 80% of students who realistically don’t belong in universities.
-JD County road dept: We resolve to mow the road margins more than twice a season.
-All local governments: We resolve to toughen our litter laws. While we’re at it we’ll try harder to attract new employers.
-Walmarts everywhere: We resolve to add electric car chargers to every store parking lot…and update our music.
-Local restaurants: we’re done. No more new ones until a current one closes.
-Hunters: We resolve to start respecting property lines.
-Local farmers: We resolve to continue trying to break even.
– Everyone: We resolve to be more civil and accept that while there can only be one truth, there’s more than one way to get to it.
Happy New Year!