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Blowing My Top — By Tommy Purser

I blew my top Tuesday morning. Something I don’t do very often. My mother told me many years ago, “If you can’t say something good, don’t say anything at all.”
That was good advice then, it is perhaps even better advice today. I would have been wise to have followed that advice this morning, but I didn’t.
The ordeal that came to a head this morning began in March of this year. Six months ago. Let me preface the following by pointing out that I’ve been in the newspaper business for some 50 years. In all that time, neither I nor the Ledger has ever, ever used FedEx to deliver anything. Nothing. Zero. Nada. Zilch.
But in March a delivery was made by FedEx in Hazlehurst. In April, we got a bill saying we owed $185.98 to FedEx for a delivery supposedly shipped by Vallasis Mfg. to Jeff Davis Ledger, 12 Latimer Street, Hazlehurst, Ga. 31539. The person signing for the delivery was “C. Spivey,” who is the owner of the Tri-County Shopper down the street from us.
The good wife, surprised at the bill for services we never ordered, called FedEx and explained their error. She was given instructions about what to do and it included having the Tri-County Shopper to send verification that they, not us, received the shipment. But, still, like us, the Tri-County Shopper did not owe FedEx anything. Vallasis Mfg. contracted with FedEx to deliver inserts to Hazlehurst. Vallasis owed them, not us.
In May, we got another bill. The good wife called again, got switched to different people, was apologized to, and was assured the mistake would be corrected.
In June, we got another bill. The good wife called again, got switched to different people, was apologized to, and was assured the mistake would be corrected.
In July, we got another bill. The good wife … well you know the drill. But this time I heard her at the other end of the office saying she was sick of dealing with the matter.
She came into my office, obviously frustrated and said, “I’m tired of this. The next time this happens, you will have to talk to them,. Maybe they’ll listen to a man.”
I know. That was a sexist statement. But she should be forgiven for thinking she, as a woman, was being taken advantage of.
In August, we got another bill. This time I called, got switched to different people, was apologized to …. you get the picture.
Tuesday morning, we get a robocall from a collection agency saying they have been contracted to collect this FedEx bill which we do not owe. “Call this number,” the call said. So I called. Got a recording. Left a message for them to call me.
In the meantime, I called FedEx again. I was switched three of four times to different people. I was furious at having to explain things three or four more times after the situation had already been explained to them for some six months. Finally, I was connected with the regional office in Albany and the nice lady there explained to me that this was the first time she had heard of the matter. Then she started asking me a series of questions, that had already been answered and explained over six months and then asked me a question that seemed to indicate that she didn’t believe what I was telling her.
And I lost it. I lost all patience. All decorum. All decency. And when she objected to my having lost it, I slammed the phone down as hard as I could.
I need a new phone. Mine’s broken.

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